Dyer Family Happenings

A.K.A. Mommy needs a place to write!

Dear Leo, — November 13, 2015

Dear Leo,

This week was a rough one. I totally understand. You weren’t feeling great, it’s cold, there was a holiday right smack in the middle of the week, one of your teachers was out sick most of the week. I get it buddy. But here’s the thing. Changes are going to happen. I know you have a hard time with them. I know that sometimes you get all scrambled up and can’t tell me that you’re not okay, but in those moments I need you to take a deep breath and try to find your words. Your nice words.

Walking you out of class today broke my heart. I know you wanted treasure box, but you know how important it is to earn it. And we earn it by having nice words and hands, by making good choices and by listening to all of the wonderful teachers we are so blessed to have guiding us at school. Mommy doesn’t like to have to worry about your actions. I know you know how to be a superawesomefantastic dude, because you are so much of the time. And I know that you know how to ask for a break if you’re feeling overwhelmed. So lets slow down for a minute and listen to our body.

Promise me you’ll try to choose nice words and hands next week. That if someone puts their hands on you on the playground that you’ll say “No I don’t like that” and tell a teacher instead of pushing back. That you’ll try your food and not put garbage in a friends food when they aren’t looking. That you’ll be kind. And that you know that no matter what your actions I love you so very much.

I’m proud of all of the progress you’re making, and the things you’re learning. And know that we all have bad days and rough days and days that we just don’t want to do what we need to do, but we still do them. Know that on those hard days I’ll be waiting to pick you up with a giant hug and some snuggle time when we get home. Talk to me. Talk to your teachers, we all want to see how wonderful you are.

I know you’re really upset about not getting treasure box this week but we will try again next week. Max and I will be there as much as we can to help you when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Take a big deep breath my love. We all get through the rough days.



Understanding one another — March 3, 2015

Understanding one another

Everyone has “stuff”.
Everyone has family “issues” (I despise that word)

All kids have learning challenges. Be it words or food, social exchanges, waking up on time, going to bed at a reasonable hour. That’s why we as parents have to teach them. Sometimes the things that we have to teach are hard. Harder than anyone outside the security of our homes understands. Even when we are open and talk about things.

I am open, probably too much at times. But there are things and situations with my children that people don’t know about. There are things I have to keep in my heart, because I don’t want them to be looked down on, judged or thought to be anything other than what they are.

I am so aware that my boys are going to succeed. They are smart, they are loving and they win the hearts of people around them. They will never fail for long. There are too many people rooting them on. But the moments- that can last just that or a year and a half- sometimes feel like they will never end. That we won’t tackle it soon enough, that we aren’t understanding what in the hell is going on.

And then something beautiful happens. Or nothing happens. And those are both wins.

Becoming a mom has been the most amazing thing in my life thus far. It has brought out so many things I need to work on. Patience, loving even when you’re mad, anger triggers, frustration, unconditional love, fighting with love, teaching and persistence. I’m not some kind of super mom, I’m just a woman learning right next to my kids. They teach me daily.

I’m having to work on things that are said to me in all areas of my life and not taking them to heart. I wear that thing the size on Texas on my sleeve. I’ve tried to hide it but that’s not where it’s place is. It’s right out in the open, for all to see. I can’t lie about my feelings, when I try I’ll say everything is “fine”. But things aren’t I’m just not ready to open up about them.

I know I’m in no way the only person wired this way. I know that most things from friends and family come from a place of love, but understand that there are some phrases that will almost always sting. And minimizing my feelings or worries are at the top of that list.

Sometimes to understand one another we need to just listen.

Sometimes there are no words.