Dyer Family Happenings

A.K.A. Mommy needs a place to write!

Backward, yet again — April 29, 2015

Backward, yet again

We can’t afford private school.

Even if I figured out how to pay for it and daycare for Max and found a job that would pay me more than 9 bucks an hour, there is no way we can afford it.

Leo will be placed in an inclusion preschool (where a portion of the kids are general ed kids and the other portion are special needs, but high functioning and require peer models for success), and he will be scheduled back with ABA 25 hours a week after June 11, when the school year is over. But until then he is in a mild to moderate special ed class. A class where there are very few words- other than his, and his right now are ugly and mean and accompanied by hitting, spitting and as of today trying to push a bookshelf over.

I don’t know what to do.

We talked at length about how this move may very well set him back. I had no idea how much. It’s a fight to get him to wear clothes again. He is constantly pinching himself and walking on his toes. He is┬ájumping and flapping so much more than he ever has. It’s a fight to get him to be consistent with sentences other than “I be by myself”, the sensory overload is the worst it’s ever been. And I can’t help him. I try to have quiet time, I try to have him talk to me, but everything is so ugly. His words and actions to me, to his teachers, to his peers, to his brother.

He is not a mean kid. He is a lover. He is a mediator. He can tame skiddish animals. I just don’t understand it. And I feel like I am at a breaking point. The only thing they are able to do at school his put him in the thinking chair, and it doesn’t work. I want my kid back. And he will come back, but a month an a half seems like a lifetime away right now.

The realization that his is going to always have issues with sensory overload and transitions hit me about a week ago. And I cried. I’m not sure how he is going to do in Junior High school where you change classes every 45 minutes, when changing stations every 10 minutes is accompanied by a huge meltdown. How holding a pencil is the end of the world. How a fire drill is the most painful thing to his ears and eyes. How do I teach him that these things are okay, that they won’t hurt him, and that they are a part of life.

Is it all going to click one day? I pray everyday that it will. Or that it won’t hurt as much, that it won’t be as hard to move from thing to thing, place to place. I pray everyday that even if he doesn’t totally understand why we do what we do he wants to try.

Sensory overload can kiss my rear end.
It’s the one thing in the world I truly hate.

Steps forward, patience and rational thinking…. — March 18, 2015

Steps forward, patience and rational thinking….

We are embarking on yet another adventure with Leo. In September 2014, we pulled him from public school and started at home ABA therapy. He needed a stronger foundation, he needed clearer words, we needed to fine tune his dealings with sensory overload. In September I sat on my living room floor with the program manager that suggested this course of action because his class wasn’t what he was needing. We set a goal that fall 2015 he would head back to public school hopefully into an inclusion class.

It’s March, and not only are we headed back to public school on April 7th, but we are working on going into mainstream, regular public preschool through the school district. 5 months ahead of where we had hoped and prayed, faster than I had imagined. (when we pulled him from school my heart was heavy, it was such a forward and backward “progression” I wasn’t sure when or if we’d get there, and that was okay as long as he was learning).

Here’s how all of this works: (to the best of my dealings…)
Our school district has multiple levels of early education: Early Headstart (for kiddos starting at age 3, that have special needs), preschool, transitional kinder (they take the first half of a kindergarten year and stretch it across a whole year to get them ready for kinder) and then kinder.
Okay, here’s what has to happen for us- because Leo is registered as a special ed kiddo.

He is re-enrolled and starts back in a special ed classroom.

We have an I.E.P. (individual educational plan) with his teacher (who thank the Lord Almighty is the teacher he originally started with and knows him so well, AND will see his growth), school staff, his ABA tutors and us to talk about transitioning him to being a general ed kid.

Then the decision about where to place him is made.

He is moved to the appropriate classroom and we finish the school year in said classroom and start the fall in the appropriate class.

It’s a process, it took about 50 phone calls. But we are here, and in motion and that is awesome! So I started looking at the criteria for kinder. What they learn, the goals they have to meet or exceed. Um, woah. (for reference http://www.cde.ca.gov/re/cc/documents/alookatkthrugrade6.pdf )
Leo is smart. Very smart. He has trouble with things, like writing. Or rather holding a writing instrument. My mom bought us some books and things to make it fun, but that is probably his biggest struggle at the moment, and a big part of kinder. So we will be working like gang busters on it.

My hope (at the moment, or rather until he totally exceeds my wildest dreams- because he does every time) is that we start the fall in a mainstream preschool, next year he has transitional kinder and we move to kinder when he is 6. This is where I’ve set my goals for him, knowing that there will forever be things we are working on, and factoring in some set backs, but knowing that he is so very capable and has a want to learn that is something kinda fantastic.

We have the resources available to us and people that want him to soar and I couldn’t have asked for anything more for this guy.

Max is making progress with his words, but we are still behind. His advocate is going to ask for ABA services for him, and she thinks if she can get this approved and we start asap that by age 3 everything will be smooth for him. And that makes me so excited. Hopefully we will find out in the next week or so where we are at on school for him.