We had Max’s Psychology evaluation with our local regional center. The Psychologist was the same initial psychologist that did not diagnose Leo with Autism. ( we went back a month later and he was diagnosed within minutes of a different Psychologist meeting him) So I have my reservations with his decision.

We also had his evaluation with our school district. They blew through it. Parts of it made me uncomfortable because they assumed he knew things without testing him. Is he smart, very much so. But there are problems, concerns, issues. And I can’t figure out how to help him right now.

His speech is slipping backward more in the past week. He is losing more initial letter sounds, he has “language” right now but most of it is not recognizable to most people. His current speech teacher said this week with his lack of words she was able to hear a very pronounced lisp and is wondering how much of that is effecting the rest of his attempted language.

The Psychologist through the regional center said he was going to write his report that his speech delay is still a huge concern and we would not lose funding for speech services. Then last week our liaison tells me that they never have funding for children over 3 for speech services. So we lose his regional center help in a month. We have an IEP meeting with the school district next month, but if they don’t find enough of a delay he will not be given services through the school district either. So there is a chance that my child, who still cannot communicate and has an overload of sensory issues will lose all services next month and I don’t know how to help him.

There are so many things with him that are worrying me.

His hands are clenched in fists almost all of the time, he can’t speak in understandable sentences, he can’t answer simple questions a better part of the time, he melts down when he gets frustrated, If a bath towel touches him he screams, washing his hair is like a wrestling match, he can’t handle that water on his head.

Every interaction with him ends up like a speech session. Trying to get him to slow down and very intentionally make his sounds. But putting them together it doesn’t happen. It’s like his mouth literally will not form certain letter sounds. I watch him fight and fight and then get frustrated and shut down. When he shuts down, it’s over. I can’t get him to even try again.

Trying to get Providers and Insurance to acknowledge his sensory processing issues is hard. And his sensory issues are so outside my scope of knowledge. Even with reading and listening to his current O.T. and trying all kinds of things I can’t get a grasp of his problems. I can tell you what sets him off, what he can’t handle. I can tell you how I try to make him comfortable with any of these things, but it doesn’t last long or at all and I feel defeated.

I want him to be able to talk to me, to tell me that something hurts or that he just doesn’t like it. I just want to be able to communicate with my little guy, and I can’t. And I don’t know how and right now my spirit is pretty squished.

So pray please, that we get some help so that I can continue to learn to help him learn and grown.

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