Everyone has “stuff”.
Everyone has family “issues” (I despise that word)
All kids have learning challenges. Be it words or food, social exchanges, waking up on time, going to bed at a reasonable hour. That’s why we as parents have to teach them. Sometimes the things that we have to teach are hard. Harder than anyone outside the security of our homes understands. Even when we are open and talk about things.
I am open, probably too much at times. But there are things and situations with my children that people don’t know about. There are things I have to keep in my heart, because I don’t want them to be looked down on, judged or thought to be anything other than what they are.
I am so aware that my boys are going to succeed. They are smart, they are loving and they win the hearts of people around them. They will never fail for long. There are too many people rooting them on. But the moments- that can last just that or a year and a half- sometimes feel like they will never end. That we won’t tackle it soon enough, that we aren’t understanding what in the hell is going on.
And then something beautiful happens. Or nothing happens. And those are both wins.
Becoming a mom has been the most amazing thing in my life thus far. It has brought out so many things I need to work on. Patience, loving even when you’re mad, anger triggers, frustration, unconditional love, fighting with love, teaching and persistence. I’m not some kind of super mom, I’m just a woman learning right next to my kids. They teach me daily.
I’m having to work on things that are said to me in all areas of my life and not taking them to heart. I wear that thing the size on Texas on my sleeve. I’ve tried to hide it but that’s not where it’s place is. It’s right out in the open, for all to see. I can’t lie about my feelings, when I try I’ll say everything is “fine”. But things aren’t I’m just not ready to open up about them.
I know I’m in no way the only person wired this way. I know that most things from friends and family come from a place of love, but understand that there are some phrases that will almost always sting. And minimizing my feelings or worries are at the top of that list.
Sometimes to understand one another we need to just listen.
Sometimes there are no words.