This is our next adventure with Leo. A Provider brought up the possibility of seizures, so here we go.

Scheduler: “Okay, so the night before the test you’ll need to keep him up for at least two hours past his normal bedtime”

Me: “Okay” (SHIT how am I going to stay up that late!)

S: “And you’ll need to wake him up at least two hours earlier than normal the next morning- we need him tired.”

Me: “Um, he wakes up at 5:00am ish…” (Oh Hell you’ve got to be kidding me)

S: (Laughs) “well, okay just make sure you don’t let him fall asleep on the way to the hospital for testing”
(Keep in mind the hospital is a 20 minute FREEWAY DRIVE away, I fall asleep driving out there, have I mentioned I can’t wait for Fresno Community hospital to have a Pediatric everything, 5 minutes from home)

Me: “Okay well he should be good and grumpy tired, I’ll just sing really loud in the car the whole way out there.”

S: “You also want to hold liquids and food from about 9am until you get here- at 12:30”
(Lady you are trying to motherfracking kill me aren’t you)

Me: “Okay. How long is the test”

S: 2- 2 1/2 hours.

Me: “Okay looks like I’ll need to find care for my 2 year old, cause trying to corral him for that long will be AWESOME” (there was just a smidge of sarcasm in that phrase)

S: “Well you know, we are a hospital for children, we are used to it”

(Really? Cause if you were a hospital for children you would figure out how in Gods very green Earth to conduct these tests either:
a) in a different method
b) in the evening when hes exhausted from the day

Cause right now lady I think you are full on CRAY-ZAY)

I might need a few days to recover from next Wednesday.